Are you location sharing official? Whether it’s for practical reasons, like checking if your partner can swing past your favorite takeaway on the way home, or seeing if they have got home safely from a night out, location sharing is quickly becoming the digital equivalent of leaving a toothbrush at their place.
Since Apple’s location-sharing app Find My launched more than a decade ago, users can share their location with someone for an hour, until the end of the day or indefinitely. “Me checking find my friends to make sure all my sums are where they’re supposed to be,” one viral TikTok video reads. For many couples, sharing their location is quickly becoming a modern relationship milestone.
“Knowing where your partner is can provide peace of mind, particularly if one or both partners are prone to forgetting to check-in,” says Jessica Alderson, chair of the Online Dating Association. “From the opposite perspective, knowing that someone has access to your location can give you a sense of security.”
But as technology blends more and more into our daily lives, the line between convenience and controlling behavior is becoming blurred. While 50% of people value location sharing in their relationships, according to recent research from Malwarebytes, it can also create privacy problems. Just as you wouldn’t want your partner to scroll through your texts or search history—even if you have nothing to hide—sharing your real-time movements can sometimes feel like you have a pair of eyes on you at all times.
The same way relationships can turn sour, so can location sharing. “I can see a few downsides immediately with this technology. Clearly, the loss of personal space and privacy is a significant problem. Partners may feel pressured to constantly inform their other half of their whereabouts, reducing spontaneity and autonomy,” says psychologist Natalie Buchwald from Manhattan Mental Health Counseling. “Trust issues may also come into play. Partners may become suspicious if they feel the need to track their lover all the time. It could indicate deeper psychological issues, perhaps relating to past relationship trauma.” As well as insecure partners, in extreme cases domestic abusers will use GPS tracking to control victims.
“Healthy relationships involve a balance between independence and intimacy,” says Alderson. If and when you consider giving your partner an all access pass to your location, she recommends discussing your boundaries and being honest about whether it’s coming from a place of practicality or suspicion. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
