Dishonesty at work can harm both your professional relationships and credibility. And the stakes become even higher if that dishonesty happens with your boss. It’s best not to lie to your boss at all, but if you did, there are measures you can take to mitigate the damage. Here’s a game plan to handle damage control and hopefully keep your job.
Why being honest at work is so important
Besides the moral reasons not to lie generally, people also want to work with colleagues they can trust, so being a team player also means being a truth-teller. Your coworkers want to feel comfortable working with you.
“If you lie, they may worry that you are going to do something that damages them. You might ruin their reputation, steal their ideas, or reflect poorly on the company,” explains Amy Morin, a Florida-based psychotherapist and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. She notes that another consequence of being known as a fibber is that coworkers may not collaborate with you or share their ideas.
Why do people lie at work?
People often lie at work for the same reasons people lie outside of work: to look better. “It’s common to lie about a mistake or an issue that could get you in trouble, and it’s also common to make up lies about accomplishments in an attempt to impress others,” Morin says.
What should you do if you lie to your boss?
Once the lie leaves your lips, or you send an email of falsehoods, it’s time to realize that what you did is wrong. And quick action is needed.
It’s important to take responsibility. “Go to your boss and make it clear you want to clarify something,” says Morin. Say something like, “I want to clarify that conversation we had earlier. I implied I never saw the email. I did see it and just didn’t respond. I didn’t want to look irresponsible, and that was wrong of me.”
When your boss sees that you can be accountable and you’re willing to be honest, it could go a long way toward maintaining trust moving forward, Morin explains.
If you can’t take accountability quickly, and if your boss discovers a lie before you’re up front about it, Morin suggests some steps to take to manage the situation:
Admit the truth to yourself.
Accept responsibility.
Apologize to the person.
Make an offer of repair.
By stepping up, you show you want to be accountable and try to remedy the situation. Be up front about what you said and then share the real story. Morin suggests this example: “I want to clarify something. Earlier I said I sold a million dollars’ worth of goods last year. I should have acknowledged I didn’t do it single-handedly. It was my team who sold that much.”
Another professional approach is to give a heartfelt apology. “And if there’s something you can do to make amends, offer it up,” Morin says. A gesture of goodwill is also a step in the right direction. You may offer this: “I’ll send a follow-up email explaining this is not your fault.”
What are some steps to take to rebuild trust with your manager?
Understand that it could take a bit of time to reestablish trust with your manager. Prioritize honesty in your interactions with your manager and others.
“The key to rebuilding trust is consistency in being truthful and transparent,” says Nicholette Leanza, a therapist at LifeStance Health in Ohio. “Actions speak louder than words, so consistently showing a strong work ethic and being a solid team player will put you on a good path to restoring trust.”
Taking accountability is also part of your growth and success. “It’s very important that you express your understanding of how your lie affected others and the culture—and this will help set the tone that you are ready to move forward with lessons learned,” Leanza says.
If forgiven, what steps can you suggest to your boss?
Talk to your manager about how you’d like to move forward, says Morin, the psychotherapist. “Whether that means letting a supervisor check your work every week or it means sharing setbacks daily, develop a plan that will help you move forward.”
What happens if you do get terminated for lying?
Use the experience as a life lesson and accept responsibility. “Don’t slide into the temptation to blame others for your actions,” Morin says. “Figure out what your lessons are and then ponder how you are going to navigate things differently if similar situations come up in a future job.”
